everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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