So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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