I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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