This girl is more easily done than said...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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