Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
