Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
