Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
