True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
