those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
