i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
