I cannot find my penis.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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