I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
