Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
