"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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