This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
