Sry I called you an 8
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
