fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
