He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
