I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
