I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
