I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
