Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
