i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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