There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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