Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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