you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
