he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
