Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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