I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
