It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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