Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
