so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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