you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
