I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
