Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
