I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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