NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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