I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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