i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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