I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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