I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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