Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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