you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
