I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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