Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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