Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
