they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
