cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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