Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
