piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
