the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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